"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
