The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
what day is it and did you see me today?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
