Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I did not marry a roomba.
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