their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
