nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
