he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
