i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I can't turn off my feet"
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
