wakey wakey hands off snakey
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
