I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
