i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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