That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
