i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
