Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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