Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
