my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
