you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
