whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
