please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
