I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
