hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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