Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
