What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
