Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
