East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Even my vagina gasped.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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