I'm drive I can fine osifer
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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