Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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