Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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