just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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