I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
