Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
