HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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