The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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