So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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