im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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