O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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