i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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