Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
