Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
never play flip cup with pint glasses
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize