Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Is Oprah even human
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
