i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
