either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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