Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
hell yes lets make some ravioli
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize