Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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