at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
