I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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