I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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