he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
