If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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