He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
