it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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