FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
