If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
