I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
