What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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