what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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