Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
