I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
