You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
