I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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