I must be too annoying 4 u.
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
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