ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
